


The Exception

by i_write_shakespeare_not_disney



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: AU, College, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-15
Updated: 2016-09-22
Packaged: 2018-08-15 03:10:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8040154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_write_shakespeare_not_disney/pseuds/i_write_shakespeare_not_disney
Summary: Nico di Angelo doesn't believe in love at all. But when a certain blue eyed blond with an angel's voice is found heartbroken, Nico has to help. And just like that, his walls start coming down.





	1. Part 1

The café had its perks and its downside. But today it felt more like a million downsides for Nico. He was tired and homesick and he had a lot of homework he hadn’t gotten to because of the time his shift took up.

“Hey, ready for Open Mic?” his coworker asked. Nico shrugged and yawned as he leaned against the counter.

“I’m ready to go home. And not my dorm, I mean _home._ ” He huffed and stood upright as a group came in. A few ordered drinks, the others sat down and waited for Open Mic Night to start.

As the time inched closer to seven, the café filled up more than it did on even the busiest weekdays. People lounged about the tables, on the couch, squeezing together to fit their friends, people began sitting on the floor, standing around the edges, anything to get a glimpse of what talent people would bring that night.

The lights were dimmed, the low stage lights were brought up, and his coworker who was also the sponsor went up to the stage. “Hey everyone! Okay, so this is a great turnout! We still have a few slots available if you want to sign up, a song, poem, a monologue, whatever you want, this is your chance to shine!” she said excitedly. Nico rolled his eyes.

Sometimes he wasn’t sure if the enthusiasm was real or not. Surely no one could be _that_ happy all the time, right? Regardless, more people crowded together until the first act was up.

Nico laughed to himself as a girl did a mellow cover of Hotline Bling, a song Nico preferred to pretend didn’t exist. She received applause and hoots. Then a few original songs by aspiring singers. In between acts, Nico would get someone at the counter whispering an order before the next act started.

Granted some of the performers were pretty good. When they messed up, they laughed at themselves and kept going, encouraged by the crowd. Nico didn’t think he could ever do that. So he had to give credit where it was due.

An hour in, after an intense slam poem that left Nico laughing and applauding, he leaned against the back counter and scrolled through his phone.

He heard the sweet strums of a guitar and nodded his head to the beat.

Then the singing began.

Nico nearly dropped his phone when the guy started singing. He looked up to see a long haired blond with blue eyes that sparkled in the dim lighting and freckles that should have been washed out by shadows. He had a small smile as he sang, close to the mic, his hand strumming frantically on his guitar.

It was a love song. It was a very intriguing love song, comparing the emotions to fire and pain, but adoringly describing his love interest, slowing and speeding up in rhythm unexpectedly. Nico couldn’t help but wonder who had inspired such a complex original love song like that, who could’ve inspired that silken voice that dripped like honey.

Nico couldn’t tear his eyes away. He was drawn to the voice to the guy standing there, strumming his guitar and happily singing about being in love and everything he loved about the emotion itself. Nico noticed his eyes flickering to a certain section of the café and couldn’t help but look to see what or who he was singing to.

It was another guy. A guy in a soccer jersey, leaning against the window walls with a gentle smile on his face as he watched the blond onstage.

Nico felt his stomach twist and scoffed at himself. Of course. The love song was bound to be about someone. So he had no reason to feel disappointed.

As the song came to an end, Nico drummed his fingers against the counter, his eyes following the blond as he walked back to the jersey guy while the others applauded and cheered. He scowled as the other guy wrapped his arms around him.

Nico took to his phone again, berating himself. So the guy had an angel’s voice, so what? That meant nothing. Nico was positive the guy was an airhead, or a narcissistic prick, or a lame surfer or something. The only good thing about him was probably his voice anyway.

“’Scuse me,” he heard someone say. He looked up and almost dropped his phone again.

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath as he caught it in his other hand.

“Nice reflexes,” the blond said.

“Uh, yeah. Thanks. I’m a klutz.” He pocketed his phone and cleared his throat. “What can I get you?”

“Hm…. A cold and a hot chai please.”

Nico raised an eyebrow as he put the order into the register. “Are you drinking those at the same time?” he asked.

“No,” he laughed. “One’s for my boyfriend. The other’s mine.”

Nico nodded, his jaw tensing. “Seven fifty.” The blond handed his money over and Nico set to making the drinks.

“Are you the only one working right now?” Nico nodded. “That’s got to be rough.”

“I’ll live,” he muttered. He chided himself for being so cold. He sighed and took a breath. “Um, you were really good, by the way. I didn’t catch your name, but…. I usually don’t like love songs, so… nice job.”

“Thanks,” he said with a smile. “I’m Will.” He furrowed his light brown eyebrows. “Why don’t you like love songs?”

Nico snorted as he gave him one of the drinks. “I think they’re stupid. The whole idea of love, really.” He flushed and cleared his throat. “I don’t know. Just a pet peeve of mine. So be honored that I liked yours.”

Will laughed softly so as to not disrupt the current performance. “Well thank you very much then,” he said still chuckling. Nico slid over the second drink and gave him a tense smile. “What was your name?”

“Nico,” he answered.

Will nodded and took the drink. “See you around, Nico.” He walked back and handed the hot drink to the guy in the soccer jersey and gave him that easygoing smile as he leaned against him, causing Nico to frown and look away.

It wasn’t fair. How could someone be so attractive? Did he know the effect he had on people? Surely he did. He had to. He had to know what that stupid dimpled smile made people feel, he had to know that his stupid voice could make people weak in the knees. He had to, and he had to take advantage of it. Nico was certain.

And Nico hated him for it.

***

It must have been a week. It was a week after the performance night and as Nico was arriving for his shift at the café, he saw Will with his head down, his nose suspiciously red, the back of his hand at his eyes. He had been walking swiftly past people, so Nico didn’t get a chance to ask if he was okay. Did he have a cold? Was he crying?

It left Nico with an uneasy feeling.

About an hour into his shift, he saw the boy who had worn the soccer jersey walk into the café. He had a muscle shirt on and he was laughing with a group of people. The group came up to order drinks and Nico took the order, letting his coworker take care of actually making them.

Nico kept his eyes on the guy in the muscle shirt, watching as he nudged another guy and gave him a flirtatious look and did all the pathetic flirting Nico saw in shitty comedies. Will must have been crying. They must have broken up. And so soon after that emotional love song.

Nico shook his head. This was exactly why he hated the idea of love. Any deep emotion could be considered love, but then one person stops feeling it out of nowhere and it’s like you never mattered. And Nico hated it. He hated how vulnerable it made someone, how pathetically entranced you could be by someone who would stop caring overnight. He hated how one person could sit in a café, flirting, a few hours later while the other was probably in their room crying, wondering what they did wrong.

Suddenly, it took all of Nico’s resolve not to go and punch the idiot in the face.

When his shift was over, Nico started to walk over to the bookstore when he saw a head of blond hair at a table outside underneath the shade of trees. He had on a large sweater, the sleeves pulled over his hands. One hand served as a headrest as the other kept the pages of a textbook down.

His nose was still red, sniffing occasionally. Slowly, Nico neared his table. He pulled out the chair and Will looked up with bloodshot puffy eyes.

“Hey,” Nico greeted.

“Hey,” he answered in a voice nothing like the smooth sweet honey silk voice Nico had heard before.

“What are you studying for?” he asked, his voice easygoing, but wary.

“Um. I’m not… sure. Oh, right anatomy.”

Nico raised an eyebrow. “You’re not sure?”

Will shrugged. “I haven’t really been paying attention to what I’m reading,” he mumbled.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Nico offered.

Will glanced at him and scoffed. “You’ll probably laugh. You’ll probably say it was bound to happen.” Nico frowned and leaned forward to shut the textbook.

“I can be a total asshole, but I wouldn’t laugh at you for being hurt,” Nico said. “Everyone experiences things differently. I won’t laugh. I promise.”

Will looked at Nico and studied him for a moment. Then his eyes filled with tears and he managed to choke out, “He broke up with me.”

Nico took a shaking breath and let it out. “I’m so sorry, Will.”

Will shook his head and pressed the sleeves of his sweater against his eyes. “I just feel so stupid, I mean, I wrote him a stupid song, how pathetic is that? And he was probably laughing at me that whole time just thinking to himself, ‘this guy is pathetic he thinks I actually love him back?’ And that’s so embarrassing, so frustrating. I just wish I knew when he stopped….” His expression crumpled and he stifled a sob.

“Will,” Nico said sadly. “Will, you’re not stupid, okay? You were hopeful, I mean hopefully you still are. You were hopeful and kind and you loved as much as you could, and maybe you still do and that’s okay.” Will shook his head and his hands curled into fists. “Will, I know it hurts, and I know you feel stupid for loving him, but honestly, he’s the stupid one. Because someone loved him, really loved him and he threw that away.” Will looked up at him. “He’s the idiot here. He’s the one who missed out. Not you. And just imagine the day that someone loves you back that way and much more wonderful it’d be than the bullshit this guy put you through.”

Will’s eyebrows furrowed. “How can you say that if you think love is stupid in the first place.”

Nico sighed and drummed his fingers against the table. “I lost hope. I don’t believe love exists for me. But then there’s people like you who hope and smile so much. Surely it has to exist for people like you. Good people.”

“You don’t think you’re a good person?”

Nico frowned. “I’ve had a lot of bad experiences. Not romantically, though I guess that one time was bad enough. But just, in general. I have way too much baggage. No one in their right mind could love me.”

“So maybe you need someone not in their right mind.”

Nico chuckled. “Ah, no. I just don’t think anyone can love me. And I don’t think I can love anyone else.”

Will raised an eyebrow. “Okay, well first of all, anyone can be loved. Maybe it’s hard to love you, but someone’s bound to. And you don’t really get a say in falling in love.”

Nico shook his head. “We were talking about you. Don’t turn this on me.” Will laughed and nodded, drying his eyes again.

“I feel like I’m going to pull a Taylor Swift and write a bunch of heartbreak songs now. Is that pathetic?”

Nico furrowed his eyebrows and fought back a smile. “Um, everyone has their coping methods?” Will laughed again and shook his head. “Look, I don’t really have friends, so if you want to get your mind off it, go to a soccer game or go get some Whataburger or something, just let me know. I’m sure I’ll be free if I’m not working.”

“Are you asking me to be your friend?”

“I guess. I don’t know how it works, I’ve never done this before.”

“Wow. Another exception.” Nico rolled his eyes and smiled. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll tell you. Thanks.” Nico nodded and grabbed the pen Will had left on the table.

He grabbed an old receipt from his pocket and wrote his number on it. “Don’t do anything stupid, okay? If you want to get your mind off of things, text me and we can go do something. Here.” He handed over the receipt and Will thanked him. “I’ll see you around, Will.”

Will smiled and nodded. As Nico walked away, he glanced back and saw Will bent over his textbook, much more focused than he had been only fifteen minutes before.


	2. Part 2

Friday night, Nico’s phone began to buzz. “Hello?”

“Is it bad that I kind of want to get really messed up?” Will’s voice came, quick and frustrated.

Nico didn’t answer, his eyebrows furrowed. After a moment, he said, “Um… what?”

Will growled and huffed. “I saw him. I saw him with some other guy and they just walked right by me like it didn’t even matter and I’m just past the point of crying, I’m just angry. I’m angry and I want to forget and get stupid drunk or something.”

“Um, okay hold on there, party animal,” Nico chuckled. “Look, I know this club and we can go and probably get you a drink but you’re crazy if you think I’m going to let you get wasted. Trust me it’s not fun. We’ll just go and destress, and you’ll feel way better.”

Will groaned and sighed. “Fine. Whatever. I just… I need to get my mind off of all of this.”

“I’ll get to your dorm around nine.”

“Can I go to yours? He’s in this hall, and I really don’t feel like being here if I don’t need to be.”

“Sure.” Will thanked him and hung up. Nico sighed and shook his head. He’d been helping Will out with the breakup for two weeks. At first he would cry a lot. Then he seemed like he didn’t care. They’d watch movies or eat burgers and laugh and it seemed like he wasn’t heartbroken. Then moments like this would come up, and Nico would have to level out his emotions for him. Which was new considering he didn’t understand his own emotions half the time.

Nico got to his dorm after work and began working on some homework before taking a shower. His roommate was busy reading a book and didn’t bother to ask if he was going out. After taking a shower, he tugged on his jeans and left the bathroom in search of a shirt that hadn’t fallen to the floor and gotten soaked through.

“Hey Nic-oh,” Will’s voice trailed off and Nico jumped and turned to see Will sitting at his desk with rosy cheeks, his eyes scanning the empty desk.

“Whoa, hey!” Nico said, suddenly very self-conscious of his bare torso.

“Said he was here for you, so I let him wait in here,” his roommate called.

“Yeah, thanks,” Nico said. He chuckled and went to his closet, trying not to feel so tense. He pulled on a black shirt and his leather jacket. “Sorry, I was doing homework,” he told Will as he brushed his teeth.

“It’s fine,” Will answered. Nico looked over at him and couldn’t help but smile at the clothes he’d worn. Who knew such an innocent face could look so rugged? Nico grabbed his keys and Will finally let his eyes flicker to him. “Ready?”

Nico nodded and gestured to the door. “Be back,” he told his roommate. He received a grunt of acknowledgment. “Have you eaten today? I feel like we should eat before we go anywhere.”

“Yeah, sure,” Will said as Nico started the car. “Hey, can I ask you something?” Nico nodded. “You know how you said you had a bad experience, romantically, I mean?” Nico frowned and nodded. “I was wondering…. I mean you’ve seen me crying pathetically over some asshole and all… so… I guess I want to know what that was. I promise I won’t laugh.”

Nico bit his lip and glanced over at Will. His eyes were curious, open and inviting. Nico had never told anyone about Percy. He’d never let out his emotions about that horrible nonexistent relationship that tore him apart. But here was Will, asking, caring, curious, and so easy to talk to.

He took a deep breath and let it out with a trill of his lips. “Okay.” He cleared his throat and kept his eyes on the road. “Back in high school, I was really into this guy. You know, he was everyone’s crush, everyone wanted to date him or be him. Typical high school bullcrap. Anyway, we were pretty close sophomore year. He was… my hero. He made everything seem worth the fight, he was courageous, he didn’t give up, he… he inspired me.” Nico gulped and turned into the fast food diner.

They got their food and sat down, Will waiting patiently for the rest of the story as Nico tried to recall the events he’d pushed so far from his mind. “He was incredible to me. It was hard to believe he was real. I liked him so much, I- I loved him.” He rolled his eyes at his own stupidity. “But he liked this girl in our class. Annabeth. Pretty blonde, gray eyed, feisty. They were the perfect couple. And seeing him fall for her, give all of his attention to her…. It made me feel like shit. Because I seriously had no chance, I mean… I’m a guy.” He shook his head. “Anyway, I guess… I was so upset one day, and someone started teasing me, you know how high schoolers do. Calling me all these names. And Percy, being a hero, tried to stand up for me. But it made me angry. I don’t know why. Maybe I was angry that he never saw how invested in him I was. Maybe I was angry that I would never have that chance. That I’d never get to kiss him or hold his hand or hear him tell me he loved me the way he did with her.

“I shoved him. I started shoving him, hating him for making me feel what I felt. I didn’t want to love him. I didn’t want to be so… weird? I don’t know. I blamed it all on him. And I told him I hated him and he was hurt, but I didn’t care. Because the people teasing me were right and he never saw it.”

Nico shook his head and swirled a fry in ketchup. “After that fiasco, I got really distant from him. I started acting up. I figured I’d never find love like that, I’d never be loved so why bother with the formalities? I decided to have fun and make out with whoever I wanted, fool around with who I wanted.” He lowered his gaze. “I always regretted it. I always regretted kissing them, boy or girl, because I felt nothing and the kisses were horrible, and they left me feeling used even though I was the one using them.” He shook his head. “I just figured… I’ve got nothing to lose.” He shrugged and looked up at Will whose vibrant blue eyes were watching him intensely.

“I fell in love, got my heart broken, and gave up. That’s all it was. I was just done. Self-destructive.”

“I’m sorry,” Will whispered.

Nico shrugged. “Let’s go get our drink on,” he said balling up his trash. Will followed him and they arrived at the club. They had x’s on their hands, but Nico immediately went to wash his off in order to get Will his drinks.

He watched Will carefully, making sure he didn’t go overboard. Nico didn’t want to deal with this dork stumbling over his feet and throwing up in his car. Will managed to reach that tipsy edge that made him laugh at everything without slurring his words.

“Let’s dance,” he said, tugging Nico. Nico hesitated. “Come on, you brought me out here, now let’s go dance!” Reluctantly, Nico followed him and danced along to the bass of the remix that the DJ played. Bodies were pressed close together on the small dancefloor, giving Nico the perfect excuse to be that close to Will. Nico smirked and moved, watching the shadows of colorful flickering lights dance along Will’s face.

Suddenly, Will’s hand went around his waist and pulled Nico closer. Alarms went off in his head, but he didn’t back away. He bit his lip anxiously and tried to ignore the electric waves flowing through his body. “I’m gonna get another drink,” Will muttered. Nico noticed a slight slur and gripped his arm.

“No, no, no, let’s keep you here. You’re fine right now,” he insisted.

Will shook his head. “I still need to forget,” he muttered. Nico pulled him back and sat him down near the bathrooms. “Nico,” he whined.

“No,” he said forcefully. “The last thing I need is you hungover tomorrow. You’re fine.”

“Nico,” he whispered, his eyes focused on Nico’s face. “Nico, help me forget,” he pleaded. “Help me forget, please.” He pulled Nico in, but Nico moved his hands and turned away.

“Will, stop. Look you’re not thinking straight.”

“’Course not, I’m gay.”

Nico burst into laughter and shook his head, with one hand on either side of Will’s face. “Look at me,” he said, laughing. “You’re not thinking _clearly._ You’ve had a lot to drink, okay? Just dance, look at the colors, listen to the music.”

“I’m looking at _you_ ,” he muttered, leaning forward, against Nico’s chest. “I’m listening to _you_.” His head tilted up and Nico could feel his lips hovering over his throat. “Nico,” he whispered. Nico shut his eyes and shook his head.

“Okay, come on, let’s get you to bed.” He lifted him up and tugged him along. He put him in the car where he promptly fell asleep before Nico could even get out of the driveway. He shook his head and looked at the road. “Lightweight.”

Nico arrived at the dorms and took Will up to his dorm, half asleep, and yawning. Will was lucky enough to have a room to himself, so they didn’t wake anyone else up. As Nico put him to bed, Will’s hand wrapped around his wrist.

“Can you stay with me? Please,” he whispered. Nico hesitated. “I’ll behave,” he promised.

“Alright,” Nico answered softly. He grabbed the trashcan under Will’s sink and placed it near the bed just in case. He kicked off his shoes and nudged Will. “Scooch.” Will did and Nico slid into the small bed beside him.

Will groaned and curled into a ball beside him, his hands gripping the covers. Nico looked at him in the dark, his silhouette barely discernable. And he felt something strange in his chest, in his stomach, in his fingertips which brushed against Will’s arms.

Slowly, Nico fell asleep.

In the morning, he felt someone nudging him and he opened his eyes, taking a moment to remember why he was beside Will. “Hey,” he croaked.

“Morning,” Will said, his cheeks tinged bright. “Um, about yesterday… I’m so sorry.”

Nico chuckled and closed his eyes. “S’okay. You weren’t thinking clearly.”

“I think… yeah. Yeah, I guess so. I didn’t do anything too stupid, did I?” Nico smiled and shook his head.

“Other than try to kiss me, no.” He opened his eyes at the sound of a muffled scream. Nico opened his eyes and chuckled as Will buried his face in his pillow. “Hey, you’re the first person I rejected a kiss from,” Nico said.

Will narrowed his eyes. “That sounds very insulting, thank you.”

Nico shook his head. “Nah, trust me, it’s a good thing. You would’ve regretted it. I would’ve felt bad for letting you when you were that intoxicated. It’s a good thing.”

Will rolled his eyes. “Are you going back to sleep?” Nico nodded, his eyes already shutting again.

Suddenly his phone rang and he sat up, checking the screen. “Hello?” he muttered into the phone.

“Hey, Neeks, how’s college?” Hazel asked.

“Hazel, you scared me. I was asleep.”

“Oops?”

Nico laughed. “One sec.” He put the phone on mute and turned to Will. “I have to take this. Call me when you feel awake enough.”

Will nodded and followed him with his eyes as Nico left the room. As he shut the door, he saw Will’s ex walking down the hall and tensed as his eyes zeroed in on him. His dark eyebrows furrowed and he watched Nico as he walked down the hall, painfully aware of how bad that might have looked.

When he was out of the dorm hall, he answered his sister. He spoke with her for a while, listening to her stories and telling her his own. He got back to his dorm and talked with her, urging her to visit and making sure she was doing okay.

Eventually he hung up and focused on his homework. About half an hour later, his roommate came in from his unholy Saturday class. “So, someone didn’t come home last night,” he said with a smirk.

“I didn’t drink.”

“So why didn’t you come back?”

Nico sighed. “Because Will did. I was just making sure he didn’t… I don’t know choke on his own vomit or something.”

“Did he come onto you?” Nico turned in his chair and looked at him. “What? Everyone comes onto you.”

“No,” he snapped. “He’s going through a break up, dude.” His roommate raised an eyebrow. “What?”

His roommate shrugged. “I don’t know. But a break up is a good excuse to ask your crush to take you out to drink until you’ve got enough courage to make a move.” Nico blinked in surprise. “I’m just saying this guy is always with you. He likes you.”

Nico rolled his eyes. “I don’t date.”

His roommate snorted and turned away, getting his laundry basket. As he left the room again, he heard his roommate laugh. “Oh, hey dude. Nico’s in there being a nerd.”

“Thanks,” Will answered. Nico felt his stomach twist into knots. “Hey,” he said as he got into the dorm. Nico smiled and Will hopped onto his bed. “Let me know when you’re done with homework.”

“Are we going somewhere?” he asked. Will shrugged and began to scroll through his phone. With him there, on his bed, biting his lip as he scrolled, running his hand through his hair which never really stayed in one place, the sunlight from the window making him glow, his freckles so perfectly distinguished, Nico couldn’t focus. So instead of finishing, he shut his textbook and rubbed the back of his neck. “What’d you want to do today?”

Will looked at him with clear blue eyes. “I don’t know. Maybe we could go watch a movie? What was released yesterday?”

Nico shrugged. “Not sure. Let’s go find out.” He grabbed his keys and Will followed him out of the dorm. They walked past the dorm hall and started for the parking lot, when someone called Will’s name.

Beside him, Will immediately tensed. He turned and his face hardened as his ex jogged up to them. “What do you want?” Will scowled.

He was wearing a Brazil shirt, and completely ignored Nico as he stumbled over his words. “Look, I… I’m sorry, Will. I really am.” Nico glanced at Will and was surprised to see how stoic and empty his eyes looked. “I was stupid. I was so stupid to let you go, I shouldn’t have just thrown away what we had.”

Will laughed and crossed his arms, and Nico debated walking away. “Oh wow. Can you believe this, Nico?” Nico froze and looked between the two. “Yeah, you were pretty stupid. It’s good that you know that.” He turned away and the guy turned him back around. Will snatched away and glared at him with eyes as cold as ice. “Don’t touch me.”

“Will, please. I’m asking for another chance. Please, I won’t hurt you again.” Will furrowed his eyebrows, his angry demeanor melting away. “Please. I’ll get on my knees if I have to. Please.”

Will narrowed his eyes. “Do it then.” Nico’s eyes widened and he felt like an intruder as the guy got to his knees.

“I’m sorry, Will. Please take me back.”

Will’s eyes flickered to Nico who had remained quiet the entire time. He shrugged and Will looked back at his ex. “No,” he said with finality. Nico’s jaw dropped, and his ex seemed even more shocked. “Get up, you look way more pathetic than I thought you would.”

Nico fought back a laugh as the guy got up, confusion settling in his eyebrows. “Will, wait a second.” He grabbed his arm and raised a hand to his freckled cheek. “Please, baby. I love you. And I know you love me.”

Will’s lip curled in disgust. “I don’t love you.”

He pushed him away and turned to face Nico, but the guy turned him back. Then Will swung his fist and punched him in the face. “Holy shit!” Nico exclaimed. He couldn’t hold back his laughter anymore.

“Wow. That felt pretty good,” Will said, shaking his hand out. “Come on.”

He pushed Nico in the direction of his car, leaving his ex in shock, holding his cheek. Nico laughed beside Will all the way to his car. “Dude that was awesome! That was great, oh man, I am so proud of you.” Will chuckled and looked at his hand. “Are you okay though? Was it hard to say no?”

Will scoffed. “No. I got over that douche bag the day I saw him pulling some guy into his room.”

Nico furrowed his eyebrows. “When was that?”

“Almost a week ago? I don’t know. But it was just sort of a wakeup call. No point in feeling hurt over some guy that’s already sleeping with someone else.”

“Ah,” Nico said. He frowned and wondered what that meant when it came to yesterday. Hadn’t Will been upset? Or had his roommate been right? Had the break up simply been an excuse?


	3. Part 3

“So, how’d your test go?” Will asked as he met up with Nico while leaving the building their classes were at. They started for the café and Nico was tugging on his work shirt mid-walk.

“I think I passed. I’m not sure.” He grunted as he put the shirt he had been wearing into his bag. “Are you going up for Open Mic this time? You missed it last month.”

Will grimaced. “I’m not sure. I’ve written some songs, but…. I don’t know.”

“Heartbreak Taylor Swift songs?” Will rolled his eyes and nudged Nico. “Well, hey sing it. People can be all like ‘oh shit oh damn,’ especially if it’s just a big fuck you to that asshole.”

Will smiled. “I’ll consider it. Well, have fun working. I’ll see you later.” Nico nodded and gave Will a fist bump before going into the café.

It seemed a little easier now that he was used to the routine. It seemed better, easier to juggle the things he had to do.

Like the last time, people began to crowd the café, awaiting the start of the Open Mic Night. Nico saw Will come in and almost immediately, his blue eyes found him at the register. He smiled and Nico waved. He went up to the counter, though Nico doubted he was ordering anything.

“So? Do you have a great fuck you song to sing to embarrass him further?” Nico asked.

Will wrinkled his nose. “I think I’m done giving him the time of day. I’m done trying to embarrass him or call him names or… anything really. It’s just not worth it.”

Nico raised his eyebrows. “Well that’s good. How long has it been? About two months?”

Will shrugged. “I stopped keeping count after I hit him.” He looked at Nico and smiled. “Why don’t you sing something?” Nico scoffed and shook his head. “Come on, I’ve heard you singing in the shower.”

Nico laughed and began to drum his fingers on the counter. “Well, everyone’s a Grammy winner in the shower. Doesn’t mean I’ll sing in front of a group of people.” Will frowned and nudged him across the counter.

He didn’t sing that night. He stayed near the counter, listening and watching the other performances. He stepped aside when people ordered their drinks, and kept his eyes on Nico throughout performances, smiling when Nico raised an inquisitive eyebrow. Will began to rub his arms and Nico tossed him his jacket.

Soon, the night was over and everyone began to leave. Nico cleaned up the counter and the utensils while Will waited patiently on the couch. Finally they left the café and Will followed Nico to his dorm, keeping his head down.

“Are you okay?” Nico asked him.

“Yeah. Yeah I am.” Nico arched an eyebrow. “Um, so….” He hesitated and began shrugging off the jacket to return it to Nico.

“Yeah?” Nico asked as he took the jacket.

“Do you… um… do you like me? Like… really like me?” he asked, his face tinging bright red.

Nico felt his chest compress and his stomach twisted into knots. “Oh. Um….” Will looked right at Nico, nervous and hopeful with his bright blue eyes. “I… um…. You know, that might not be a… good idea.”

“Why?” Will asked, his eyebrows furrowing.

“Because…. I’m not a good person, Will. And you are. I use people, and I hurt them, I’m not the kind of guy that goes into relationships. I wouldn’t be… good for you.”

Will’s eyes flitted between Nico’s as he gripped and fumbled with his jacket, anxious and unsure. Then Will put his hands on either side of his face and pulled him into a gentle kiss. Nico gasped against his lips and furrowed his eyebrows. The soft pressure of Will’s lips left Nico’s warm and tingling. Although Nico had been kissed before in far more sensual ways, none had ignited him or made his heart beat quite as fast as Will did with a simple press of their lips.

Will pulled back and Nico’s eyes fluttered open, staring at Will in wonder. “I don’t think that’s true.”

Nico gulped and released his death grip on his jacket. “I should get to my dorm. I have a lot of homework….”

“One date, Neeks. Let’s go on one date. Then you tell me if you don’t want to try being more than whatever it is we are now.”

His hands were warm on his cheeks, strong and calloused from years of guitar playing. Comforting. “Will…,” he whispered, almost pleadingly, but he wasn’t sure what he was pleading for. Did he want Will to break him? To get through that barrier Nico had created for himself? Or did he want him to stop before he ruined one of the best friendships he’d had in years?

Will’s thumb caressed his cheek and he pressed his forehead against Nico’s. Nico responded by putting a hand against his shoulder, weakly pushing him back. “Why won’t you give me that chance? Why won’t you let me in?”

“Because I’m not worth it,” he answered angrily. “It’d be pointless for you to get into a relationship with me. I don’t even believe in love and you do and you’re just…. You’re just into me because I helped you get over your ex and that’s fine, but…. I can’t risk being in someone else’s hands again. I can’t risk being vulnerable….”

“That’s not true,” Will argued. “Yes you helped me get over him, but I like _you._ I like your snide comments and your mannerisms and your jokes and the way you listen to me and the way that you can get lost in yourself when you tell a story or the excitement in your limbs when you watch movies, and the way…. The way I feel when I’m with you. I feel happy and warm and safe and…. I like the way your cheeks flush when I get too close. The sound of your laugh. I like you so much it’s crazy, Nico. Don’t you feel… any of that… for me?”

Nico’s eyebrows furrowed as he looked at Will. “I….” He bit his lip and shut his eyes. “One date, Will. And then we go back to normal. Because I don’t want to fuck this up.”

“Okay,” he answered, that infamous smile spreading along his face. Nico pulled Will’s hands away from his face. “I’ll come by to get you.” Nico nodded and turned to the door. “You won’t regret it, Nico.”

He froze for a second, then went inside to get to his dorm. The second he got inside, he got into his bed and went to sleep, not wanting to mull over what had just happened.

The next day, once he’d gotten out of class, Will met up with him by the tables where Nico had found him crying a few months ago. “Hey,” he said.

“Hey,” Nico answered feeling a million butterflies burst in his stomach.

“You’re done for the day, right?” Nico nodded. “Can I steal you away then?”

“I’m with you all the time anyway,” Nico answered with a smirk.

“Interesting,” Will said with a smile. “Come on.” He grabbed Nico’s hand and led him through the campus to his car which was in a parking lot near his dormitory. Nico got into the car and when Will got in, he turned the engine and reached for his hand.

“What are you doing?” he asked as his fingers curled between the spaces of Nico’s.

“Standard date procedure. You hold hands.”

“Oh really?” Nico asked sarcastically. “Must be a modern concept.” Will laughed and pulled out of the parking lot. As the drove, the feeling of Will’s hand in his own began to feel comfortable.

They went to an art museum first. Then they went to get ice cream. Then Will took him to a music show and made him dance near the back where nobody would see. Nico felt surprisingly comfortable the entire time. They didn’t run out of things to talk about and the only things that suggested it was more than their usual friendly outing was the fact that Will’s hand was usually in his or the slow dance Will coerced him into.

His sweet voice murmured the song into Nico’s ear and Nico shut his eyes, imagining for a second that he wasn’t afraid, that he had never been hurt, and that maybe a relationship was possible.

“See, it’s not so bad, is it?” he whispered into Nico’s ear. Nico hummed and leaned his head onto Will’s shoulder. “I’m trying to fit a dozen dates into one, if you haven’t noticed,” Will chuckled.

“You’re a dork,” Nico said, suppressing a smile as he pulled back to look at him.

“Yeah, I know,” he answered. His fingers played with Nico’s as his blue eyes looked at Nico with only a touch of melancholy. “You never answered me, you know.”

“What?” Nico said softly, afraid to break the trance they were in.

“Do you like me? The way I like you?” Nico’s breath hitched and he lowered his gaze, unable to meet Will’s eyes. He didn’t want to like him. Sure he’d thought he was incredibly attractive when he’d first met him, and that was still true. But it had been physical then. He didn’t want to admit to feeling anything more, he didn’t want an emotional attachment. Because that only meant he’d get hurt.

He wasn’t easy to deal with. He was a mess. Maybe Will thought he liked him now, but he wouldn’t after a few months, maybe weeks.

“I don’t date, Will,” he whispered, leaning his forehead against Will’s. “You know that.” He heard Will sigh and felt his body tense.

“We should go,” Will said. Nico felt the disappointment bubble in his chest, but he pushed it away. He followed Will out of the club and to his car. As he got inside, Will didn’t say anything, but he didn’t turn on the engine either. “We can’t exactly just go back to normal. You know that, right?”

“I didn’t want to ruin this,” Nico said, leaning his head against the window. “I’m telling you I’m not-”

“Nico, stop!” Will snapped. “My God, Nico. Yes you are. You are worth it, you are worth this and so much more, if you’d just let me prove it to you.”

“Will, being friends isn’t the same as dating. Me being your boyfriend would be completely different from being your friend. There’s different rules, different-”

Will leaned over and pressed his lips against Nico’s, fiercer than he had the night before. And Nico lost all sense of where he was. The words dissipated and the emotions he’d tried to quell for so long burst in bright, intense beams in his chest, and coursed through his body with electrifying speed.

He put his hands on either side of Will’s face and pulled him in, gasping for air but refusing to break the kiss. He scrambled over to Will’s seat and as he kissed him, every emotion was new. Whereas his previous kisses had been frustrating, stupid, and guilt-ridden, this one was filled with so much emotion, so much want, and passion, it was almost like he’d never experienced a kiss before. It was so new.

He slid his hands into his hair and felt the thick blond locks slide between his fingers. His teeth grazed his lip, his gasps made Nico’s lips cold only to warm them again when his lips enveloped Nico’s again.

Suddenly, a loud honk made them jump.

They pulled apart and Nico shut his eyes, breathing heavily. “Shit. Sorry,” he panted.

“For the kiss or the honk?” Will responded, a small and hesitant smile on his lips.

“I don’t know,” he whispered. Will placed a hand against his cheek and Nico pressed into it. “We should get back to campus.” He moved Will’s hand away and clambered back over to his own seat as Will turned the engine.

The ride was quiet, with just mellow indie music at a low volume on the radio. When they parked, Will walked beside Nico. The taste of his lips lingered on Nico’s the warmth still made them tingle. And he had no more energy in him to pull away when Will pulled him aside.

“I know you think relationships are pointless. And you think people will just give up on you. I know that okay? I know you’re scared. I am too, Nico.” He slid his hand into Nico’s. “Please, just try. I won’t hurt you.”

“No one plans to hurt anyone,” Nico muttered. “You go into things thinking it’ll be perfect. That everything will work itself out. But then it goes away. And even though you didn’t mean to give up or hurt someone, you do. You still do.”

“Give me a chance,” he begged. “We can’t go back to what we were. We may as well try, don’t you think?” Nico gulped and let his eyes flicker to Will’s.

He licked his lips and took a deep breath. “I…. I’m going to be a handful. I hope you know that.” Will’s eyes widened and a smile began to spread on his lips. “I’m going to drive you crazy and get on your nerves and you’ll probably frustrate me too. And it’s going to be rocky and it’ll be anything but perfect.”

“I think I can handle that.”

“I think you’ll regret saying that,” Nico chuckled. Will leaned in and kissed him again, both of them wrapped in the autumn chill and the night sky. “You are seriously-”

“An incredible exception to everything you live by? Thank you.” Nico laughed and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend.

His very first boyfriend.


	4. Chapter 4

It was incredible to think that they’d been dating for three months. And they were so close to their fourth month.

Even laying there in his bed, with his freckled arm draped over his body, Nico couldn’t quite believe it. “Will,” he whispered, turning his head. Nico almost always spent the night at Will’s dorm, but usually Will woke up before him only to fall back asleep while he ran his hand through Nico’s hair. Nico could feel it, but he never opened his eyes, never told him he woke up the second Will’s hand touched his face. “Will, wake up.”

Will grunted and shifted in his sleep. Nico smiled and leaned over to kiss his jawline, to kiss his warm cheek dotted with freckles, to kiss his lips. “Wake up,” he whispered.

“It’s Saturday,” Will muttered. “We can stay here all day.” Nico chuckled and shifted his body over onto him.

“Well, hello,” Nico laughed as he tangled their legs together.

“It’s morning, what do you want from me?” Will asked as his cheeks flooded with embarrassment and his eyes opened slowly. “It doesn’t help that you’re on me like this either.” Nico smirked and kissed his neck, trailing kisses up to his jawline until he reached his ear. He bit gently on his earlobe and Will moaned beneath him.

“Well then maybe I’ll just have to wake you up myself,” Nico murmured. He leaned down to kiss him and Will, overwhelmed with shock and a sudden desire, responded. His calloused hands slid from his throat to his hair, tugging gently at the roots, much to Nico’s pleasure.

Despite the many nights Nico had spent at Will’s dorm, they had never done anything besides sleep. It was new for Nico, who was used to having his fill of fun nights without the sweetness of an actual relationship. It was surprisingly satisfying to just lay beside Will whispering into the night until one of their voices trailed off into unconsciousness, to feel his warmth beside him, to wake up to his bed head and husky morning voice.

And now, Nico had a feeling that giving himself completely over to Will would be just as electrifying and surprising as every other first that Nico had experienced with him. That first date, that first real kiss from someone who wanted him, that first kiss on the cheek, that first snuggle against the cold, that first time Will wore one of his shirts, the first Valentine gift, the first time Nico fell asleep on his lap. All those simple first time things had been filled with beautiful ecstasy.

And although it wasn’t Nico’s first time, he just knew it would feel like it was. Because it would be the first time it mattered, the first time every touch wouldn’t feel awkward and unwanted.

He wasn’t sure what Will was thinking as they slowly got rid of their clothes. He wasn’t sure it was his first time or not. He wasn’t sure if this would be any different to him from any other time if it wasn’t. But he didn’t want to think about that.

He just wanted to hold him, touch him, hear him whimper and moan, taste his skin and his lips, feel the graze of his teeth and the caresses of his fingers.

Will’s short nails dug into his back and Nico kissed every possible part of him. Their interlocked hands pressed into the mattress as Nico looked down at him, admiring the way the sunlight streaming through the window made his hair gleam and the way the flush of his cheeks accented his freckles.

The room was filled with their muffled grunts and moans and panting breaths until, exhausted, Nico finally laid his head against Will’s chest, feeling and listening to his hammering heart. Will’s fingertips traced up and down Nico’s spine and Nico pressed his lips lazily against Will’s chest.

“Nico,” Will whispered. Nico sighed in content as the whisper escaped his honey lips.

And then-

“I love you.”

Nico’s eyes shot open and terror gripped his chest. Will’s fingers continued to caress his skin, continued to run through his hair, oblivious to the sudden panic that had overcome Nico.

Slowly, his breaths slowed, his heartbeat steadied, and Nico knew he had fallen asleep. Very carefully, Nico untangled himself from Will and redressed. He moved quietly to grab his things and tiptoed out, shutting the door with as little sound as he could manage, which was still rather loud considering the dorms had heavy wooden creaking doors. He raced down the hall and back downstairs to leave the dormitory.

He felt strange. Afraid and reckless and stupid and… afraid. So afraid. He returned to his own dorm to change his clothes so he could get to work and tried to push the morning out of his head.

When he got down to the café a few hours later, he couldn’t stop his hands from trembling. At one point, Will’s ex-boyfriend walked in, and with a sneer on his face as he looked at Nico, he ordered. But Nico didn’t even it in him to be sarcastic and petty with him like he usually was when he ended having to take his order.

All he could think of was the day Will had sung about him, sung about the love he’d felt, so pure and honest and… so descriptive. Even once he was gone, Nico could only think of Will, crying under the shade of a tree, feeling stupid, heartbroken, wondering when the love had stopped. And then Nico wondered when Will had stopped loving him. He’d said it so surely that day, “I don’t love you.”

When would he stop loving Nico? When had he started? How did he even know?

As he mulled the thoughts over in his head and fumbled with his ring, he heard someone clear their throat. When he looked up, he felt a sudden panic in his chest at the sight of Will leaning against the counter.

“Should I be offended that you ditched me like a one-night stand?” he asked softly, a smile on his face. It was a joke.

“Hey,” was all Nico could say.

“Where’s my kiss?”

Nico looked around anxiously. “I’m working. That’s unprofessional.”

Will chuckled. “Since when has that stopped you?” Nico frowned and moved toward the counter.

He tried to discern something in his eyes. Something different, some sign that what Will felt was really love. But there was nothing. They were the same crystal blue eyes that focused on him so steadily, that glittered like a lake in the sun, that crinkled on the sides as he smiled because he always smiled when he looked at Nico.

He bit his lip and leaned forward, kissing him gently. A strange pain burst in his chest and he broke the kiss, looking away. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked worriedly.

“Nothing,” he said. “Just feel a little tired.” Will frowned and looked at him with worry creasing his eyebrows. “Um, are you going to order anything? Because there’s someone waiting behind you.”

“Oh. Uh, no, not right now. I’ll see you later, okay?” Nico nodded and Will walked away. He went to greet someone he knew that was sitting on the couch, but Nico could feel his eyes shifting over to him now and then. He was suspicious. Of course he was. Will wasn’t stupid. He could read Nico like no one could before.

Meanwhile, Nico was busied with the flurry of people coming in after a Saturday class to get a drink or a snack. It wasn’t enough to make Nico forget completely.

When his shift was over, instead of heading to Will’s, he headed to his own dorm. Even his roommate was slightly surprised to see him come in at that hour on a Saturday. “Trouble in paradise?” he asked.

“Shut up,” Nico grumbled. He sighed and sat at his desk to start on some homework he’d already finished.

“Hey, seriously, is everything okay?” his roommate asked.

“Yeah. I’m fine.” He cleared his throat and stared at his journal. “Hey, so that festival thing is today, right?” His roommate nodded. “Cool.”

Nico had gotten a text from Will, asking if he was alright. Nico responded saying he had a lot of homework to do then proceeded to get his car and go downtown to check out a music store. Part of him felt bad for lying. But then, what was he supposed to do?

He didn’t know how to know if he was in love. He didn’t believe it even existed. Love was a heavy word with a terrible weight, and it was constantly misused. For example, Nico had believed he loved Percy. Now, years later, he knew it had simply been a very pathetic, very sad, very stupid, very strong infatuation for his impressionable, naïve self. What if that was all Will felt? What if Nico broke up with him and played his games again, how long would it be before Will told him he didn’t love him?

What if Will met someone else, felt something stronger for them and decided that what he felt for Nico wasn’t love, but what he felt for the other person was?

That, more than anything, is what terrified Nico the most. He didn’t want to know what it was like for Will to regret what he said to him. He didn’t want every little moment to mean nothing, to become empty. He didn’t want to see the light that showed up in his eyes when he looked at Nico go away.

His phone began to ring. He answered quickly, forgetting to look at the caller ID. “Hey. Um, I was going to pick up some Whataburger. Do you want me to bring some to your dorm?” Will asked.

“Oh. Actually, I already ate. I’m kind of swamped with this math work. But I can go find you before the festival starts, okay? I also don’t want to bother my roommate with the food smell and all….” Nico rolled his eyes. That didn’t even make sense.

“Ah, okay. Sure no problem. I’ll see you later.” He hung up and Nico let out a long breath as he walked. He realized he’d passed the music store up a long time ago. He groaned and went into a nearby bookstore instead.

As soon as he came across a romance novel, he left. He went back to the dorm and the smell of stale fries hit his nose immediately. He glanced over at his roommate who had a Whataburger bag on his desk.

“Your boyfriend brought it. It was for you, but… well you weren’t here.”

Nico shut his eyes and cursed under his breath. “He came in here?”

“When he called you. Yeah. You might want to find him because he seemed pretty pissed off when he hung up.” Nico nodded and left his room without another word. He hurried over to Will’s and knocked quickly on the door.

He was shocked to see his ex when the door opened. “It’s your boyfriend,” he said with distaste.

“Wonderful,” Will muttered. Nico went inside, feeling confused as he took in the sight of him in Will’s room. “Look, I’m not even going to argue with you about this anymore. Take whatever the hell you think is yours. But I have no idea why you waited like six months to do this.”

Nico furrowed his eyebrows as he grabbed movies and CDs and even books. Will stared, fuming, his face getting redder and redder.

“That’s not yours,” Nico blurted as he grabbed a movie. He was rewarded with a glare. “I bought that for him. That’s not yours. And neither is that book. And neither are those two CDs.”

“Just let him, the sooner he gets out of here the better,” Will muttered as he leaned against his wall.

“They’re not yours.” Will’s ex stared at him for a moment before putting a few things back. He left then, slamming the door as he did. Nico turned to look at Will, but before he could open his mouth, Will snapped.

“You know if all you wanted was sex, you could’ve told me, I don’t know, four months ago? If that’s how this is supposed to work, just tell me. If that’s all I am to you, just fucking tell me.”

“What are you talking about?” he asked in shock.

“I’m talking about the fact that we have sex and you immediately shut down and run away and start lying to me.” Nico rubbed his temples tiredly.

“No, Will, that’s not…. That’s not it. I don’t just want you for sex.”

“It sure as hell felt like it. You disappeared as soon as I fell asleep- I heard the door close- and then I go see you and you’re awkward, you won’t look at me, then you just disappear and lie, claiming you’re at your dorm doing homework. Were you even doing homework, or were you doing some other pathetic guy-”

“Will, stop. I’m not cheating on you, and I didn’t just want you for that. Okay? I told you I don’t do relationships, I’m not good at them, I don’t understand them.”

“You’ve been doing just fine the last few months! Why all of a-”

“I freaked out because you said you love me!” he shouted. Just like that, silence settled over them. Nico kept his eyes shut, afraid to look at him, afraid to have disappointed him, afraid that he would take it back or say it again.

Then, after seconds that felt like hours, Will said, “I wasn’t expecting you to say it back.” Nico opened his eyes and looked at him. “I mean… when we… I figured that was your way of… saying it I guess.”

Nico furrowed his eyebrows and blurted, “Will, that was just sex.” He regretted it before the full sentence was out of his mouth. Will’s cheeks tinged red. His eyebrows creased. His mouth fell open into a small O shape. His body slumped as though whatever had been holding him up had dissipated with Nico’s words.

Worst of all, were his eyes. Dim and filling with tears, staring at Nico in shock, disbelief, and pain. “O-Oh,” he croaked.

Nico bit his lip hard, angry with himself. “I…. That’s not what I meant. It wasn’t _just_ sex, Will I meant that it wasn’t… supposed to insinuate… anything.”

“Yeah, got it. Um. You should… go.”

A panic greater than what he’d felt that morning seized Nico and he began to shake his head. “Wait, I…. Fuck, I’m not…. Oh God.” He began to pace and bite his nails. “Will, I… I like you. I do, I like you a lot. I mean, I’m dating you, that has to speak volumes about how much I like you.”

“You just don’t love me,” Will responded. “Okay.”

Nico hesitated. “I don’t know what that’s like. Okay, I don’t know how it feels, or I’m supposed to act, or how I know…. I mean, you used to say you loved-”

“I was wrong,” Will interrupted.

“What if you’re wrong with me too?” Nico shouted. “What if you just think you love me but then you meet someone else and decide you never loved me? What if I hurt you and you hate me instead of love me? What if I let myself think I love you and you hurt me? I don’t believe in love. There always new people, new things, and it doesn’t last, Will! It never lasts! It’s this stupid concept people make up to get through the day because they need someone’s affection. I have yours, and you have mine, and we don’t have to love each other to be happy with that.”

Nico didn’t know why but his voice was breaking, his heart was racing, and his eyes had filled with tears that he didn’t want to let fall.

“That’s something everyone is scared of, Nico,” Will answered with as much fervor. “Everyone’s scared to let people in, everyone risks getting hurt, but we do it because we’re hopeful. We’re hopeful that this time we won’t get hurt. That this time it’ll be good and wonderful instead of painful.”

“You loved him. You did, I saw you heartbroken and hurt, you don’t just stop feeling that. How can you say you feel that for me?”

Will’s face was full of disbelief, but Nico knew he made sense. “What are you saying, that I throw the word around carelessly? Yes, I thought I loved him, I thought I wanted my days filled with him, but he hurt me, he threw me away. And you know who picked me up?” Nico shut his eyes and hot, thick tears fell down his cheeks. He felt the warmth of Will’s hands cupping his face. “ _You_ did, okay? You made me feel special, better. You told me I was a good person, that love existed for people like me. Well, you’re a good person, and it exists for you too. And I’ll give it to you, I’ll give you every ounce of love I can muster for you to believe me.”

“I’m too complicated, you’ll just take it back, Will, don’t say it anymore.”

“But I do love you. I do, I love you so much. And I want my days to be spent with you. You can’t tell me what to feel, Nico.”

“Yes I can!” he snapped, shoving his arms away. “What if someone else had helped you through that break up? Would you have loved them? Would you have even looked at me?”

Will scowled. “What’s the point in all of these ‘ifs,’ Nico? No one else came up to me. No one else cared. You did. You cared and you became my friend, and you became the one to make my heart beat faster, and you became the one I want to be with. Why is it so hard for you to grasp that?”

“Because I’m not worth that amount of struggle!” he shouted. “I know you think I am, but I’m not and I’ve known that almost all my life! Nobody, _nobody_ wants to deal with something like me for very long. People give up on me, people regret having anything to do with me, I’m not worth any level of affection!”

Will stepped forward and wrapped one arm tightly around him while the other held his face desperately. “Don’t say that. Don’t say that, Nico, please,” he begged. “You _are_ worth it, you really are. You are worth every bit of love that comes your way. The people that gave up on you were the ones that weren’t worth it. But I’m here, and I’m not going away, I’m not giving up. Okay? I’m here.”

“You need to break up with me,” Nico gasped. “You need to do it now before we get-” Will leaned forward and kissed him desperately, trying to erase the words from Nico’s lips. “Will,” he begged. But Will kept kissing him, refusing to let him talk.

Instead of pushing him away, Nico pulled him closer. His mind was swirling with thoughts, but not a single one made sense, especially with Will this close, his scent, is lips, his breaths, his warmth. He didn’t know what he wanted.

Finally, desperate for air, Will pulled back only slightly, and caressed Nico’s cheek, wiping away the wet marks of his face. “Look at me, baby,” he pleaded. Nico did, but only for a second. “Is there any chance… that maybe you’re only this afraid of me loving you… because you fell in love with me too?”

Nico’s breath caught and his eyes flickered to Will’s. He thought of how different everything had been with Will. From the electrifying simple gestures and kisses to the completely new wonder at bigger things like dates and make out sessions and sex. How none of it left him feeling used or guilty, but awed and surreal and wonderful. Was that what it was like? Was there more? “I don’t know,” he breathed.

“Then let’s give you time to figure it out. Okay? And even if you don’t love me, can you let me love you?” Nico began to shake his head, but Will shushed him patiently. “I’m not asking you to say it back. I’m just asking you to let me say it to you. Let me remind you that I’m staying.”

Nico furrowed his eyes and leaned against him. A million questions, a million fears, coursed through his head. But Will made them seem so small, so easy to overcome. And even though it wasn’t, Nico felt that maybe he could if given the time.

“Okay,” he whispered.


End file.
